Author unknown (presumably for good reason)
A giant panda escaped from the zoo in New York. Eventually, he found his way downtown and walked into a restaurant, where he found a seat at an empty table. The maître d', being a native New Yorker figures he's seen stranger things than this so he sends over a waiter to take the panda's order. In due course the panda's meal arrives and he eats.
After he finishes his dinner he stands up, calmly pulls out a gun from God-knows-where he had it hidden, and blows away several customers and a couple of the waiters. Then he turns around and walks toward the door.
Naturally, the maître d' is horrified. He stops the panda and demands an explanation, at the very least.
The panda says to him, "What do I look like to you"?
The maître d' answers, "Well, a giant panda, of course."
"That's right," says the panda, "Look it up," and he walks out.
The maître d' calls the police. When they arrive the maître d' relates the whole story to them, including the panda's comment about looking it up. So the chief detective sends a rookie out to get an encyclopedia.
He eventually returns with the Encyclopedia Brittanica, Volume P. The detective looks up "panda", and there's the answer: "Giant panda, lives in China, eats shoots and leaves."
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