Night and day’. Of collecting, collectors, the thrill of victory… and the ones that got away you never forget.

By Dr. Jeffrey Lant
Author’s program note. March 25, 2012 the Boston Globe ran a story about the auction of treasures from the estate of the late Reverend Peter Gomes,  the well known Harvard minister who died young (just 68), February 28, 2011. Gomes was a certified pack rat who searched the ordinarily unpromising antiques shops of Boston and New England in search of the elusive “finds” that make a collector’s life so satisfying  — or so frustrating.
Gomes was out early and late in hot  pursuit of — what? — he couldn’t say in advance, no collector can, but he’d know it when he saw it. I am an obsessive collector myself, and I am writing this article in the hope not merely of understanding collectors in general, but myself in particular… for I’ll be darned if I can figure out why I who have so much spends so much time and treasure collecting — more! Perhaps this article will help you; I certainly hope it helps me!
“You can’t take it with you.” (1936).
We all know this well-known saying, but I long ago reached the conclusion that it most assuredly doesn’t pertain to bona fide collectors. Just how we make the transport and presentation arrangements in heaven (much less in that other place), I cannot say. But I do know this: every single collector I know (serious or otherwise) believes they most assuredly get an exemption. For if it all (every last baseball card, match box or movie star autograph) cannot go… why then we have some serious explaining to do, what with all the trouble (to say nothing of the expense) we’ve gone through to acquire everything that is now mine, mine, all mine. For you see, the more we collect the more others believe us to be (and certainly say right to our faces) that we are mad as a hatter. (That reference, by the way, is from  “Alice in Wonderland”, and if you had an autographed first edition (1865) in your collection it would be worth a packet… but I digress.)
Equally if you had the autographed sheet music to Cole Porter’s most famous tune “Night and Day” (1932) that, too, would be a great find and a worthy acquisition. However, for right now, I recommend you go to any search engine and listen up. I selected this incidental music because collectors never stop looking, participants day and night in the great hunt and always know “you are the one” when they find their next “must have” acquisition. Porter would have understood; after all, he was a strenuous collector himself, of the silver cigarette case variety.
Important things you should know about collectors.
There are things you really need to know about us collectors. First, things that alarm and distress more pedestrian people positively make us giddy and thrilled. I mean things like death, economic turmoil, wars, revolutions, even garden-variety mayhem… we positively thrive in circumstances which depress others. When, for instance, a great empire falls with massive misfortune for millions, you can be sure its bibelots, artifacts, and what-nots will, in short order, pop up in the royal and imperial “yard sales” held at the world’s greatest auction houses, names like Sothebys, Christie’s, Dorotheum, et al. We collectors positively thrive on other people’s miseries; it’s what we do.
We have to say, of course, (and we must deliver these sentiments with as much sincerity as we are able) that we regret such catastrophes… but, in truth, that’s generally a little white lie. This lie was very much apparent at Gomes’ estate auction. Gomes had spent a lifetime acquiring items from the overrated antiques stores of Beacon Hill, Essex and Groton… items his many friends, former students, congregants in Harvard’s Memorial Church… even readers of his books and sermons … picked through with avidity, enthusiasm, and a jaundiced eye. For such people, collectors all, a demise, however untimely, means pure, unadulterated bliss… unless they fail at the auction to secure the things they “had” to have.
Scrutinizing you and your possessions.
Collectors love meeting others who collect the same kinds of things… but not for the reasons you suppose. Collectors want to meet you and visit chez vous not to swap tips, bond, or brainstorm. By no means. They wish to see and minutely scrutinize and peruse what you’ve got that they, hopefully sooner rather than later,would like; indeed must have. Thus, when husband calls wife to “see Dr. Lant’s marvelous portrait by Lawrence of Lord Shaftesbury” and lauds it over much whilst taking out his pocket diary the better to take notes, you must understand that he is thinking there is only one thing between where this highly desirable object now resides and its potential new home… and that thing is you. Make a hasty excuse about why such creatures must be shown the door and at once, for they cannot possibly wish you well. Absolutely no collector is or ever will be that magnanimous. After all, you’re not. And neither am I!
Close mouthed before… unendingly voluble forever after.
I aver that collectors would all be suitable for the CIA and all other “spook” organizations. Why? Because we can most assuredly be discrete with information. Consider this: When I was a young man working on my first book (“Insubstantial Pageant: Ceremony and Confusion at Queen Victoria’s Court”) I was the first American ever admitted to the Royal Archives at Windsor Castle. Thus, I was able to walk across to Eton, its famous school, and a High Street well stocked in those days with antiques stores. And there I applied my specialized knowledge to the flotsam and jetsam on display in these stores… scoring, I am pleased as punch to tell you, bulls-eye after bulls-eye; to name but one satisfying “steal”, the acquisition — and for just about 50 cents each –of a pleasant quantity of rare hand-colored royal prints in mint condition; now worth thousands. I have them to this day and whenever I have the need to gloat review them with the greatest possible glee. I tell you this now, decades after the fact, because it cannot help my erstwhile colleagues and fellow sleuths. When this event was taking place, however, nothing, absolutely nothing would have caused me to be so indiscrete. And so it is with all collectors…. secret as the grave whilst in the process of acquiring; the exact reverse, a positive Niagara of self-praise and egotism, once acquisition was secured… self-praise and egotism available anywhere, anytime lavishly applied — whether asked for or not.
Provenance, or Marie Antoinette emptied this stone from her plum-colored slippers as she went to the guillotine.
Collectors collect for many reasons but to one-up friends, family and the ill-educated and credulous is clearly the most important of these. Here provenance is absolutely crucial, that is to say who possessed and may actually have used the object in question. Be clear on this: collectors always want the most detailed and exalted provenance possible. Thus to have a cracked plate from the Siberia service of the Empress Catherine of all the Russias is more desirable and socially elevating that a complete place setting from the 3rd Prince Regnant of Moldava… or an entire and immediately useful service for 12 owned by your next door neighbor. And be clear on this as well: not only do you want such absolutely essential historical reference… but you must learn to say it with hauteur, panache and such exquisite intonation that you must surely be noble yourself. Parbleu!
But enough of these insider secrets. I’ve got important work today… yes, for the benefit of my burgeoning collection. And if you think I’ll share a single syllable about the work at hand, think again. Mum’s the word… that is until I get the this or that I’m after now. And when I get it, prepare to be impressed… and say so… over and over again. I deserve it.