One day, Little Johnny's teacher asked the class, "Children, if you know the answer, please raise your hand! Tell me things you can suck!"

"Ice cream, ma'am!" Little Mary answered.

"Good, Jane." teacher said, "Anyone else?"

"How about a lollipop?" said Steven.

"Very good, now it's your turn Johnny!" the teacher said.

Little Johnny, sitting at back then answered, "A lamp!"

The teacher and all of the students wondered about Little Johnny's answer.

Then the teacher asked him, "Johnny, why do you think one can suck a lamp?"

"Well, last night when I passed my parents' bedroom", Little Johnny answered, "I heard my mom say, turn off the lamp, honey and let me suck it."

THE FINAL BLOW JOB

A woman recently lost her husband. Their marriage had been a very lousy one, and she was relieved that he was finally gone. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter. Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me?" She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!" She then said, "Remember that new car you promised me?" She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!" Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Remember that blow job I promised you? Well ...... here it comes..."